Dear Diary,It has been a long time not writing. Alas! The day has come. I knew it would be soon. The day for me to decide carefully. Tomorrow is my wedding, the day where I marry Paris. I am certainly not ready to commit myself to Paris. A few days back, I met Friar Lawrence and he gave me the potion, the plan he had made for me. A very risky one. I am extremely anxious and petrified to use that potion and to drink that potion. I would have nay fear. But I would like to marry Romeo, however, this will not happen if I don’t drink the potion. I have my wedding with Paris tomorrow at St Peter’s Church and I am in a hurry and panic. He waits as a husband to make my wife. Paris loves me but I don’t return his feelings. If I don’t drink this mixture I will have to marry Paris and live with him for the days that are laid in front. My grave is like to be my wedding bed. Will it be safe for me to drink the potion? Is Friar Lawrence trustworthy? Is he trying to kill me? Does he have other plans? That one turn my (trembling) wrist does, could do a lot of things to me. It could kill me, it could wake me up too early, it could not at all work…What would happen if I wake up too early? Would I be in the tombs of the Capulets’? Would my uncle Tybalt or my kinsmen be next to me? I am so concerned. What if there are some great kinsman’s bone? What if? Or perhaps, I would wake up surrounded by those dead bodies and bones. I could go mad by the (ghost-like) evil spirits around me! I could be playing with the dead bodies or smashing my brain. Alack! Alack! O those hideous thoughts in my mind shall go. But love gives me strength, and strength shall help afford. Around a week ago, when my mother informed me that she and father will be arranging the wedding. I got vexed. I didn’t know what to do or what to say to them. But I had to be obedient and faithful to my mother. I had to listen to her. I forsooth wanted to marry Romeo, my future husband. I was thinking of all the happiness I would have in me and Romeo on Thursday. I met Paris at Capulet’s party. I hath dance with him and talk to him. Romeo in the corner was shining brightly.But why do I have to choose? I’ve already decided who would make me happier. But would this be the right choice? Will I regret choosing Romeo over Paris? My love, Romeo. I love him so much and have faith in him. But on the other hand, I know Paris will not make me there a joyful bride. Thinking back, my mother, father and my nurse, they hath said those dirty words. But the nurse was the worst. How could she say that to me? After hearing those nasty comments, they have made me stronger, self-assured and loyal women. Romeo describes me as an angel, innocent, naive girl, O speak again bright angel. He is so sweet, charming and luscious. Our love is like a bud that has yet to flower. He is my idolatry, my God. His saint lips touching mine and those pilgrim hands touching mine. However, that does not stop me from gulp down the potion. My love for Romeo is as deep as the sea. I gave my thee mine before thou didst request it. This shall not pass by quickly. It is too rash, too unadvised too sudden, Too like lightning, which doth cease to be. I have more to lose than Romeo but I’ll lay all my fortunes. But don’t I lose more than Romeo? Should I just marry Paris? Alack! Wherefore am I thinking about this? I love Romeo so much. People will be laughing at me, they would think I’m insane to marry a Montague. But what is a Montague? It doesn’t belong to anything. It shall just be a name! But what’s a name? I shall ask him to doth that name. Although there are so many possible ways the potion could go wrong. This could save my life. Save me from marrying Paris. Friar Lawrence has made this potion for me, all his hard work will pay off. Farewell! I shall give all my trust to this potion and him. Just in case, this potion does not work or does wrong on me, I shall lay my knife next to me. Either way, I shall not go to the wedding tomorrow.
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